Why kids deflect praise: complicated feelings about attention
Children often deflect or downplay praise, which can be confusing for parents who view compliments as positive reinforcement. Experts suggest that children may feel overwhelmed by the attention, pressure to perform, or uncertainty about what the praise implies for their future efforts.
Why it matters
Understanding the psychological nuances of how children process feedback can help parents and educators foster healthier motivation and self-esteem.
“You did such a good job!” a parent tells their child after seeing a drawing. The child smiles briefly, then starts talking about a cartoon they watched or asks what is for dinner. Another child receives a compliment about a school performance but immediately begins discussing something that went wrong that day. Parents may find these reactions confusing. They have offered encouragement, so why does the child seem eager to move on? Do they feel embarrassed, dislike being the centre of attention or struggle to accept compliments?There is no single explanation. Some children feel shy when attention turns towards them. Others may be unsure how to respond, uncomfortable with being evaluated or simply more interested in the next thing on their mind.
Get smarter about the news
Sign up free for a feed built around what you actually care about, Dive Deeper research on any story, and the full text of every article.
Create free accountAlready have an account? Sign in