The 'ongoing, bittersweet' grief of childlessness, years later
The article explores the 'bittersweet' and ongoing grief experienced by individuals who are childless not by choice, years after the initial pain. Counsellor Sarah Roberts explains that this grief can follow a timeline of the child never had, resurfacing during milestones like peers' children growing up or becoming grandparents. Personal stories, such as Allison Macaulay-Dear's and Susanne and Mike Armour's, illustrate the enduring emotional impact.
Why it matters
This piece sheds light on a often-unacknowledged form of grief, providing validation and understanding for those experiencing childlessness. It raises awareness about the profound emotional impact of living in a family-centric culture for individuals who cannot have children, fostering greater empathy and support.
The pain of childlessness can be acute in the beginning, says counsellor Sarah Roberts. ( Pexels: Yan Krukau )
Link copied Share Share article Allison Macaulay-Dear's best friend recently became a grandmother.
"I was thrilled for her obviously," the 62-year-old from South Australia says.
That's because Allison couldn't have children of her own. And it's moments like these when the pain of childlessness feels sharper.
"It just hurts. I haven't got little babies around me and never will. That part is difficult," she says.
Sarah Roberts is a childlessness grief counsellor and lived experience advocate based in Brisbane/Meanjin.
She says while many women adjust to the grief of being childless not by choice over time, living in a culture geared towards families can highlight an "absence of intergenerational relationships".
For some childless people, the grief follows a timeline of the baby they never had, says Ms Roberts.
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