The Eroticism Shortage
Psychotherapist Esther Perel’s work on the tension between emotional intimacy and sexual desire has gained renewed cultural relevance amid a reported decline in sexual activity. Her theories suggest that modern relationship dynamics often stifle the mystery required for long-term desire.
Why it matters
The article explores the sociological implications of changing relationship patterns and the influence of pop-psychology on modern cultural discourse.
The therapist Esther Perel believes that the sex recession isn’t just about statistics.
Illustration by Ricardo Tomás. Source: DeAgostini / Getty July 24, 2026, 7:30 AM ET Share Save A little more than 20 years ago, Esther Perel was not yet an author or a podcast host. She was definitely not a household name. She was simply a psychotherapist with an observation: Many of her clients were in loving, supportive romantic relationships—and they weren’t having good sex, or any at all. At the time, the prevailing wisdom among psychologists was that a couple’s sex life was a reflection of their bond. Cultivate closeness, the thinking went, and you will feel safe to explore and to shed inhibitions. But Perel kept noticing the opposite: Emotional intimacy and desire seemed often to be at odds.
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