My grandmother is dividing her assets while she's still alive. She hopes it will help our family avoid divisiveness later.

The author with her grandmother and mother. Courtesy of Lindsay Karp Before her 90th birthday, my grandmother invited us over to her apartment. She asked us to tell her which of her belongings she wanted. I had mixed feelings at first and told her I didn't want the paintings I'd chosen for a long time. We've all heard stories of familial feud after a loved one passes and assets are divided . Verbal promises become null and void once the person who made the pledge is gone — or perhaps those promises were never made to begin with. And even words written into legal wills can spark arguments and resentment for years to come. To avoid family upheaval after her future passing, my now-95-year-old grandmother took matters into her own hands. About 13 years ago, my grandparents moved into a retirement community .