I've cared for my daughter for 39 years. Retirement wasn't the break I imagined.
A 64-year-old woman shares her personal struggle with the financial and emotional toll of caring for her disabled adult daughter for nearly four decades. The essay highlights the systemic challenges and lack of support for long-term caregivers in the United States.
Why it matters
This narrative underscores the 'caregiver crisis' in the U.S., where aging parents often sacrifice their own retirement security to provide essential care for disabled family members.
Tama Phelps has cared for her daughter with spina bifida for almost 40 years. Tama Phelps Tama Phelps, 64, cares for her disabled daughter, affecting her financially and emotionally. Phelps also manages her father's care while facing personal marital challenges. Her daughter's care costs are high, and family pressures weigh on Phelps' mental health. This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Tama Phelps, 64, who lives in Ann Arbor, Michigan, and has cared for her adult daughter with physical disabilities since she was born 39 years ago. Phelps retired early to care for her full-time but said doing so has been a financial hit. This interview has been edited for length and clarity. I was raised in Ann Arbor by two fabulous parents. I married my high school sweetheart. I worked for the University of Michigan.
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