I thought loneliness came from having too few friends. For me, it came from having too many.
An essay reflects on the realization that having a large quantity of casual friendships can lead to intense feelings of loneliness. The author shares how shifting focus away from surface-level socializing toward a smaller, emotionally deep circle of friends improved personal well-being.
Why it matters
Challenges modern social assumptions about popularity and highlights the psychological importance of cultivating deep, meaningful personal relationships over superficial networks.
Focusing on a smaller circle of friends made me feel less lonely. Carrie Berk Despite having a lot of friends in college , I felt like I was surrounded by strangers. After a careful analysis, I discovered meaningful connections fulfilled me more than casual ones. I stopped spreading myself too thin and have since focused my time on a smaller circle of friends. My 21st birthday party was packed with a dozen faces I half-knew. They all smiled as I blew out the candles and made a wish, yet I felt as if I were surrounded by strangers. As I looked out into the crowd, I realized that most of my friendships were surface-level, rather than genuine connections. We talked about upcoming school assignments, trending TV shows, and our favorite restaurants , but I wanted more.
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