I spent decades pleasing everyone. Then cancer changed the equation.

The author, pictured with her husband, said she has been a lifelong people pleaser. A cancer diagnosis gave her a crash course in setting boundaries. Courtesy of Lynn Shattuck. As a firstborn Gen-X daughter, people-pleasing was like a second skin to me. Discovering I had chronic lymphoma forced me to set boundaries and maintain boundaries. I've found that setting boundaries gets easier with practice, but requires vigilance. The summer I turned 50, I was diagnosed with lymphoma . While the type I have is considered to be very treatable, it's also considered chronic. "You'll likely die with it, not of it," my oncologist told me. The one-two punch of turning 50 and receiving a cancer diagnosis became a crash course on managing another chronic ailment that's long plagued me, people pleasing . As a firstborn daughter , disappointing people I love has always felt physically painful to me.