I moved abroad to reinvent my life. I forgot to change my dating habits.
A woman who moved to Cape Verde to escape her past realizes she is repeating the same unhealthy dating patterns she experienced at home. Despite changing her environment and career, she finds herself stuck in a 'situationship' with an emotionally unavailable partner.
Why it matters
The piece explores the psychological concept that changing one's physical location does not automatically resolve deep-seated behavioral or relationship habits.
The author said she moved abroad for adventure and a new lease on life. She realized she had forgotten to change some of her habits along the way. Courtesy of Carmen Esselink. I set off on starting my new nomadic life and headed to Cape Verde. I ended up staying put and dating the same type of people I thought I was trying to escape at home. Now, I'm not sure what I'm chasing, but I'm trying to be true to myself and my needs. Nine days into 2025, I stood at gate G7 in Amsterdam waiting to board my flight to Cape Verde to build a nomadic life on my own terms. A year and a half later, strangely enough, I'm still here.
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