I'm raising my kids to be kind, but I don't want them to be people-pleasers

The author said she realized teaching her kids (not pictured) to cooperate isn't always the best plan. StockPlanets/Getty Images I thought it was important to teach my three kids obedience. Now that they're older, I know it's important to teach them boundaries, too. When one of my children respectfully says no to something, I make it a point to validate them and their choice. As soon as children learn to follow instructions, we start teaching them obedience . I know that's what I did with my kids. I asked them to share their things, take turns, and compromise even when they're not always ready to do so willingly. I pushed them to cooperate not only because I felt it was the right thing to do, but because I wanted to keep the peace and be seen as a good parent.